can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
4 words: hood of his car
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
