Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
