What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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