Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
