i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
