ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
honey bunches of taint.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
