Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
