you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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