Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
