Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
