I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
