Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
