okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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