It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
