New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just want nice things and good sex
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
