Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
