I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
