well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
