people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
