I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
