Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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