Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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