so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
