Screwed.edu
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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