is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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