I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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