You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
