he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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