Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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