You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
