I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
