Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
