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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
