Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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