i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
