jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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