Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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