i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is my gift to your gina
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize