Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
