This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
