Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
