I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
