I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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