she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
