i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you never un-have a 4some
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
