I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
