soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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