I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Less talking, more tequila
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
