Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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