This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
